


Operation: Get Josh a Boyfriend

by bluemoongirl99



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Basically, Cute, First Date, Fluffy, M/M, One Shot, Set Up, brendon urie is an asshole, frank eats an entire orange, friend meddling, i kinda hate him and you can see it shine through in the fic sorry not sorry, moulin rouge - Freeform, movie date, ryan and josh are the cutest couple, the gang set ryan and josh up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:24:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoongirl99/pseuds/bluemoongirl99
Summary: This was either the greatest, or the worst plan that Tyler had ever concocted.





	Operation: Get Josh a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wellthisisprettyrisque (collettephinz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/gifts).



> So basically I had this idea in my head and starting writing it at 1am as a break from my Big Bang fic because I kind of hit a wall. I'm really happy that I spent my Tuesday night finishing it, and it turned out even better than I was planning. Also, all the thanks to **Lettie** for betaing this completely last minute when she got off work. I love you so much. Hope you guys enjoy!

This was either the greatest, or the worst plan that Tyler had ever concocted. “No, no, see it’s going to work!” He insisted to Patrick’s raised eyebrow as he hashed out his plan over lunch. Luckily Josh wasn’t at the table that day because he had been thankfully corralled into helping Ashley with an art project so that they could have their meeting. “It’s going to be great, and I’m going to remind you losers about what an awesome friend I am when I give my best man speech at their wedding.” 

“Honey, as much as I think you mean well-” Jenna started, then glanced around at the rest of the group shiftily before Pete interjected. 

“Your whole plan is relying on the fact that Ryan Ross will go anywhere, willingly.” 

Tyler waved his hand. “If we give him an incentive it will work. I’m telling you. All we have to do is force them into a room together, and boom, magic, fireworks, the whole thing.” 

Frank raised his hand. “Why am I here again?” 

Gerard then grabbed his arm and slammed it onto the table. “Because matchmaking is happening!” He replied dreamily, his eyes shining.

“Right, but I could be giving you a handjob in the janitor’s closet right now.” 

“Guys!” Tyler yelled, trying to get them all to focus. He was about one interruption away from slamming his fist against the table for emphasis.

“Why can’t we just hack the system and get Ryan and Josh to be lab partners or something?” Pete asked. 

Tyler wrinkled his nose in disgust. “First, Josh and Ryan aren’t even in the same Chem class, and second, they’re both naive idiots and need a gentle nudge. Or sometimes a push off off a cliff.”

Patrick let out a loud exasperated sigh. Ever since he had met Pete he had become very good at those. “If we’re gonna get Ryan we need to make sure Brendon isn’t going to be in a five mile radius.” 

There were a few murmurs from the table, before Tyler said, “Okay, but why would we want Brendon in a five mile radius?”

“He stole one of my good pencils.” Gerard spoke up, looking appropriately pitiful, and used that as justification for the permanent hatred of Brendon Urie. Frank patted his shoulder affectionately, whispering something like, “I know baby” into his ear. 

“I have a plan. And it’s the greatest plan.” Tyler told them, smiling widely. He pointed to Pete. “You’re going to throw a party. But only the people at this table, and the couple in question are to be invited. Then, we’re gonna artfully play some party games until Josh and Ryan are locked in a closet together, and have no choice but to be boyfriends.” 

The rest of the group blinked at him. “So essentially,” Patrick started, spreading his hands out on the table. “The plan is to lock them in a closet together, and hope that they fuck.” 

Tyler slumped down in his seat. “Well I mean, when you put it like that.” He mumbled, crossing his arms a bit, and definitely wasn’t acting like a petulant child. Not at all. 

“Yeah,” Gerard said, inserting himself into the discussion again. “No.” 

“The problem here, is Ryan.” Frank supplied helpfully. “”Cause I mean, Josh is kind of easy. We need to get Ryan in a room with Josh, and convince him that he should get in Josh’s pants.” 

There was a moment of silence before Pete abruptly stood up, and knocked over his chair in the process. He started ruffling through his backpack before anyone could get a word in. “I have the perfect idea guys, oh my god why didn’t I think of this earlier.” 

Finally after a few seconds he pulled out a crumpled flyer from the bottom of his backpack. “My film studies teacher was handing these out in class telling us about how one of the old theaters in town in playing _Moulin Rouge_ this weekend, and how we should go and become more cultured. Half the kids were asleep, but I took one because I can’t handle Ms. Shaw’s guilty lonely eyes.” 

Tyler’s eyes widened. “I have in good authority that Josh wouldn’t have any objections to seeing that movie.” He said, trying to go for casual. But Frank snorted, even though he was currently stuffing an orange into his mouth. A full orange. Not even cut up. Rind and all. 

“We all know that’s Josh’s secret gay movie. It’s okay, if we watch it. Gee always blows me after.” 

Gerard flailed, as he whipped around to cover Frank’s mouth. “Stop talking about our sex life!” He crowed with a bright blush dusting over his cheeks. Unfortunately for him as soon as he got even close to Frank’s mouth he spit out a piece of the orange rind onto his hand, causing him to squeal and try and wipe it on Frank’s jeans. 

Tyler sighed, it was like dealing with toddlers. “So what are you suggesting, Pete? And what does this have to do with Ryan?” 

Pete gaped at him. “Dude, _Moulin Rouge_ is like one of his favorite movies, if not his all time favorite. I mean have you seen the way that kid dresses-” 

“We do not stereotype in this family!” Gerard yelled, glaring at Pete, seemingly over the orange incident since Frank was not so subtly trying to stick his hand down his pants. At the goddamn lunch table too. 

“We should say we’re all going, invite Ryan and Josh. But then not go! So Ryan and Josh have to see the movie alone!” Jenna suggested, grinning at Pete. Pete barreled himself so that he was halfway across the table just to give her a high five. 

“That’s so romantic.” Gerard said with a faraway look in his eye. 

Frank frowned. “Hey, I’m romantic. I’m super fucking romantic.” 

Gerard patted his leg. “Sure you are, babe.” 

Frank frowned even farther. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Gerard sighed. “Can we not do this here?” 

“How am I not romantic? I took you to a movie last weekend!” 

Gerard pinched his nose. “You took me to go see the new King Kong movie, in the cheap theater, and then tried to get in my pants the whole movie. Not really romantic. Also, offering to buy me a corndog before the movie doesn’t count as dinner.” 

“Well what do you want me to do, fucking wine and dine you or some shit? I’m seventeen, I can barely even afford my car. The car that you weren’t complaining about having a backseat in just the other day.” 

“Would you stop that!” Gerard hissed. “God, everything’s about fucking sex with you. Maybe I want to go on a date somewhere without having to constantly reassure you I’m going to put out or something. Maybe I just want to spend time with you, or just fucking talk.” 

“Oh I get it.” Frank sneered. “You want to go to some art museum so you can be all pretentious, and snobby. Or better yet! We could go hiking together and do yoga while watching the sunset.” He mocked. 

Gerard only stared at him for a few seconds. Finally he said in a small voice. “That was really mean.” Gerard stood up, and picked up his backpack. “Mikey and I are gonna walk home tonight.”

As soon as Gerard started walking away Frank turned back to the group. Jenna shook her head grimly at him. “That was really mean, dude.” 

Frank seemed to realize his mistake because he paled and immediately climbed out of his lunch chair and scampered off to chase after Gerard. 

“So what number break up is that?” Pete asked after a moment of silence. 

“I don’t know,” Tyler shrugged. “Like twenty-seven. I bet you they’ll be back together by Thursday.” 

Pete scoffed. “No way, I say Friday at the earliest, you’re so on.” 

“As much as I love the casual bets that you guys frequently make over the relationships of our peers, wasn’t our goal to make a plan for Friday?” Patrick spoke up, his voice dry.

Tyler nodded, “Right. So, here’s the game-plan.” 

\- - -

When Josh opened his front door on Friday night after he heard the doorbell he wasn’t expecting his best friend to come trampling into his home, look him up and down, then say with the utmost annoyance: “No. Absolutely not.” Josh could only blink as he tried to process what was going on. 

“I am not taking you out like this, for the love of-” Tyler muttered before cutting himself off. Effectively not giving any answers as he grabbed onto his arm and tugged him up the stairs back to his bedroom.no

“Aren’t we going to be late?” Josh asked, still bewildered. He looked down at his outfit. It probably wasn’t the nicest thing he’d ever worn but they were going to a movie and he wanted to be comfortable. He didn’t think anyone would mind his usual basketball shorts and t-shirt. It might have a bleach stain on the shoulder, but that just made it look more punk rock, at least, that’s what Josh said to assure himself. Then he squinted at Tyler, “Dude, you’re wearing basically the same thing as me!”

Tyler whipped around, looking a little crazy. His hair was tousled from digging through one of Josh’s drawers, and he had a number of pants and shirts hanging off of his body. He pointed his finger at Josh. “Hopeless. You are completely, and utterly hopeless.” Then he turned back around with no further explanation. 

“What does it matter what I wear? It’s not like I have a hot date or anything. Or that Ryan’s gonna be there.” He said the last bit quietly.

Tyler’s mumbling got a bit more aggressive at his words, but he never stopped his searching. “For the love of God, where are your ‘good ass’ jeans’?” Josh watched him warily.

“Tyler,” Josh said slowly. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” 

Tyler pulled out a pair of Josh’s skin-tight black jeans that had a rip in the knee with a cry of triumph. In his other hand was one of Josh’s tanks that barely even counted a shirt since the tears in the arm holes nearly reached his hips, and completely showed off his arms and torso. Josh narrowed his eyes. 

Tyler threw both items of clothing at his chest. “You’re going to put these on. Then you’re going to get in the car without another word, or I will tell Pete about the time you shit your pants in third grade when we watched _The Wizard of Oz_ , because you and I both know he will never let it go.” 

Josh’s mouth hung open. “You wouldn’t!” He sputtered. “You- but you- you- pinky promised!” 

“This is for the greater good, Josh.” Tyler told him solemnly, then patted his shoulder in passing. “Get dressed. Oh and adding a little product to that rat’s nest you call hair wouldn’t kill you either.” 

\- - -

Josh was thoroughly confused by the time he slipped into the passenger seat of Tyler’s car. He had no idea why he’d had to be primped and prodded just to go to the movies with his friends. He’d gone to the movies with them before in way less presentable conditions. 

When he shut the door, Tyler put his phone away. His eyes raked over Josh, and it made him feel a bit like an animal in the zoo. Then Tyler nodded. “Adequate,” was the only thing he said. 

Josh had his mouth gaping for what felt like the entire car ride to the theater. He wanted to ask a billion questions, and had so many things to say but somehow none of them felt right, or seemed like they would answer him even if he did ask. So in the end, he decided to shut his mouth. 

Instead of parking when they pulled up to the movie theater, Tyler simply drove up along the curb of the entrance walkway. He stopped the car, and Josh opened the door, then climbed out. He figured that he would go in and meet up with the rest of the guys while Tyler went off and parked. But when he shut the door Tyler rolled down the window. 

“Okay so,” he started, looking a little guilty. “I didn’t want to tell you unless you freaked out. But I also don’t want to throw this at you out of left field either. This whole thing is an elaborate set up for you and Ryan Ross.” Before Josh could react Tyler took the car out of park and yelled, “You two kids have fun!” before driving off, leaving Josh gaping, and stranded in front of the old theater. 

He stood frozen on the curb for about two minutes in complete shock, and panic before he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. The suddenness of it made him jump, but then he dug it out and answered it after seeing that it was Tyler. “What the fuck!” He exclaimed. 

“Alright, so that was a little mean.” Tyler admitted. 

“Tyler, I don’t- what the-” Josh choked out. Just imaging Ryan in the theater waiting for him, or whatever, was making his palms sweat, and he kind of wanted to throw up, right there on the curb. 

“Hear me out,” Tyler said gently. “I know you’ve had a crush on him. And like, we’re all pretty sure that he likes you too, or at least, you’d be very cute together if you both weren’t so dumb, and oblivious. I knew you probably wouldn’t do anything on your own, and lord knows Ryan wouldn’t. So, we made this whole plan. I think you’d make each other happy.” Tyler was quiet for a moment. “All we want is for you to be happy.” 

“What if he doesn’t, what if I...” Josh paused. “What if I fuck up?”

“You’re not gonna fuck up.” Tyler assured. “It’s just a movie. If you wanna get food or something afterwards that’s up to you. But I really don’t want you to run away. Just go in there and be yourself. You got this.” 

“I hate you so much.” Josh told him, with absolutely no venom in it. 

“I know.” Tyler replied fondly. “Now go get him, tiger.” 

\- - -

So, it was probably the worst date that Josh had ever been on. Which was quite a feat considering Josh hadn’t been on many dates in his life, and they all had been spectacularly bad. Like the time he took Jenny Logger to a diner, and accidentally tripped, and went face-first into her chest. Even though he had apologized afterwards, and swore it was an accident, she made a point to keep her arms crossed the whole time he drove her home. 

It started off good, though. Josh had gotten his ticket and when he got into the theater he spotted Ryan pretty easily. He was in a leather jacket, and had a brightly colored scarf wrapped around his neck, even though it was quite warm outside. He was slumped in his seat, and his whole demeanor was as if he was trying to take up as little space as possible. 

But god, he was so pretty it made Josh’s chest hurt, and something in his stomach swoop. After taking a deep breath, and focusing really hard on not tripping he made his way over to the row Ryan was at. When there was only about a seat or two separating them he noticed that Ryan was staring blankly at the empty screen. It was pitch black, and nothing was playing, but Ryan was looking at it like it like there was some movie projected across it that nobody else could see. 

Josh coughed awkwardly to get his attention. Ryan startled a bit, but when he turned and saw Josh he looked surprised. Josh gave him a small nervous smile then gestured towards the seat next to him. “Is that seat taken?” 

Ryan glanced at the seat next to him like it was the first time he had even seen the seat. “No, uh,” he stumbled over his words. “It’s not - taken.” 

Josh sat down in the empty seat. The seats were pretty small and it was kind of awkward. He didn’t want to touch Ryan. Well, he _did_ , but he didn’t want to come across as an overbearing creep. 

There was an extremely awkward silence then as a bunch of other people came into the theater. Josh felt like the air between them was about explode so he stood up, with a bit too much energy. He clapped his hands together. Literally fucking _clapped his hands together_ like he was some camp counselor trying to get everyone’s attention. He could feel his face turning red. “I’m gonna go, uh, get some popcorn, yeah.” Then he all about ran out of the theater and into the lobby. 

When he got the counter he was close to taking his head and beating it against the wall. Like, beating it until his brains were seeping out because that’s what he deserved for being such an _idiot_. Ryan probably thought he was a lunatic. He was probably relieved that Josh left so that gave him a chance to escape before Josh could make it anymore weird. God, how did Tyler, or any of them for that matter think that this was in any way going to work out? 

He frantically pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialed Tyler’s phone number. He was going to have to tell him it wasn’t working out. That he was a loser, and that everyone had gotten it all wrong. Luckily, the phone only rang once or twice before Tyler was answering. 

“No I’m not driving you home.” Was Tyler’s first words once the call clicked on.

“Tyler,” Josh whined, and he was not above throwing a temper tantrum like a two-year old. “I’m totally fucking this up. I told him I was getting popcorn, this is my out. He already thinks I’m a spazz, now I’ll just be spazz who gets lost on the way from the theater to the lobby.” 

“Yeah, no.” Tyler told him with no remorse. “You’re gonna buy a bucket of popcorn. Then you’re gonna go back into the theater and woo his fucking pants off. Plus, I’m looking up tuxes for you guys’ wedding and I found a really cute set, so don’t ruin this for me.” 

“Tyler-” Josh started, but before he could say anything else Tyler hung up. 

After letting out of slew of curse words, he stepped up to the counter and ordered a bucket of popcorn. He was going to go back into the theater, and he was going to suck it up. He was going to woo the fuck out of Ryan Ross. 

He paid the bored popcorn machine attendee and went back into the theater. Though, when he sat down next to Ryan he, again, looked surprised. He glanced down at the bucket of popcorn, then back at Josh. “You came back.” 

Josh furrowed his eyebrows. “I mean, yeah?” Before he could panic about whether or not Ryan was insinuating that he didn’t _want_ him to come back, Ryan shrugged at him. 

“Jenna, Pete, and Patrick all said they were going to get popcorn and then they never came back.” 

Josh bit his lip. Ryan seemed to be nonplussed, like it was completely normal for people to disappear while hanging out with him, and then not come back. Josh wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t do that. He would never do that. He would hold his hand, and sit with him outside in the cold pouring rain if that would make him happy. But he couldn’t say that, so he shut his mouth. 

Ryan picked at his thumb nail, then sighed. “Josh, why-” he was cut off though by the lights in the theater dimming, and the beginning of the movie abruptly opening, with the maroon curtains, orchestra conductor, and the reveal of the twentieth-century fox logo. 

Josh figured that he wasn’t going to find out what Ryan was going to finish saying while the movie was going, so he settled in. He forgot about the popcorn in his lap and started to eat some. 

The movie was good, but the movie was always good. It was easy to get lost in the music, the colors, and the story. But Josh could hardly focus on any of that with Ryan right next to him. He spent nearly the whole movie watching him, and honestly it was better. Ryan watched it as if it was the first time he’d ever seen it, even though his mouthing along to every song gave away that it definitely wasn’t. 

Josh wanted more than anything to reach over and grab his hand. Do something bold. But he couldn’t. Instead, he moved the half-eaten popcorn over, and offered some to Ryan. Ryan, after a few hesitant seconds, took some of the kernels into his hand, and ate them. 

Josh tried to get lost in the movie again, but it to no avail. When the film was reaching its climax, Josh reached into the the bucket, without looking first. He accidentally brushed against another hand which he identified almost immediately as Ryan’s. Though, as soon as their hands touched, Ryan flailed, abruptly pulling his arm back, which caused the bucket to go flying, along with popcorn, which went everywhere. The remaining popcorn covered both of their laps, their seats, and the floor. 

Josh’s stomach dropped down to the floor, he could probably see all of his guts laying there along with the popcorn if someone turned the lights on. Ryan looked at him with wide, fearful eyes, and all Josh could think about was how bad Ryan reacted at just him _touching_ him. It wasn’t even on purpose.

Josh and Ryan stared at each other for a moment before Josh broke away from his gaze. “I’m sorry.” He choked out. 

He heard Ryan start to say, “What? Josh why are you-” obviously confused, before Josh got up from his seat and bolted from the theater again. He was such an moron. He couldn’t believe that Tyler had talked him into making a complete fool of himself. 

When he got out of the theater, he was struck by the slightly chilly air. Well, it was probably chilly because he was in a flimsy ass shirt that Tyler had dressed him up in, like that would make a _diffrence_. Of course Ryan wouldn’t like him. Ryan was gorgeous, smart, so smart he was practically a genius, while Josh would never be half as beautiful, and would never be able to keep up with Ryan’s rants about the latest books he’d read, or movies he’d seen. Ryan could play a million instruments with more grace than Josh could ever even think about with his drum kit. And god, he was so stupid. 

He had barely gotten his phone out of his pocket to call Tyler, yell at him a bit, and then beg to be driven home, when he heard a voice call his name. 

He turned around and saw Ryan barreling out of the theater. Now, Ryan running, or briskly walking anywhere is quite the sight. Especially with all of his long slender limbs that don’t seem to move in synch with the rest of him. 

When he finally reached Josh, he was out of breath and his overgrown hair had fallen into his face. He stopped right in front of Josh, and as soon as he stopped he started talking. “I’m sorry. I just, I felt your hand, and I freaked out. But it’s not. I’m not- I’m just. I’m really bad at this, okay? And I freak out about everything, and I don’t know what to do on a date.” 

Josh could only stare at him as the wires in his brain tried to connect the dots to everything Ryan had said. “Wait. You knew this was a date?” 

Ryan blinked at him. “You’re kidding, right?” When Josh didn’t say anything, he let out a laugh that sounded completely ridiculous, but also amazing at the same time. “Your friends might be a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them.” 

“I’m sorry I ran out.” Josh said in a rush. “I just, I thought that you didn’t want it to be a date, that you didn’t want-” his voice caught on the _me_ , and suddenly he couldn’t finish his sentence. 

Ryan stepped closer, his eyes wide. “No, that’s not-” but he cut himself off as well, and glanced down at his feet. Though, when he moved his eyes back up, they got stuck staring at Josh’s right hand. His lips parted. “Josh, what happened to your hand?” 

Josh lifted it up, even though he already knew that Ryan had noticed the bruises along his knuckles. “Were you the one who punched Brendon on Tuesday?” 

Josh’s words fell out in a rush because he had to explain himself. He didn’t want Ryan thinking he was a violent person, or that he went around picking on the little guys. “He was just talking so much shit, and I couldn’t. He doesn’t have a fucking right to say that stuff about you. And when he started talking about your mouth, I just-”

Josh never did get to finish what he was saying because Ryan jumped forward and pressed his mouth against Josh’s like he was starving for it. Josh was taken aback, to say the least, but he rested his hands against Ryan’s hips almost on instinct. When Ryan pulled back, Josh realized that he still had his eyes closed. 

When he opened them Ryan was really close, and Josh couldn’t help but smile at him, completely love-sick. Ryan gave him a small shy smile in response. “So uh,” Josh started refusing to move his hands from Ryan’s hips. “Do I get a kiss every time I punch Brendon Urie? Because I think I might break my hand, but it’ll definitely be worth it.” 

Ryan looked at Josh through his hair, and bit his lip, pretending to consider it. “Well, I suppose you can get a couple more for free.” He drawled, and as soon as the last word left his lips Josh was surging forward, and kissing him again. He pushed Ryan back until he was pressed against the brick wall surrounding the open courtyard that led to the old theater. 

He pulled back for a second. “Just so we’re clear, if I invite you over to my house tomorrow it counts as a date, right?” 

Ryan hummed. “Maybe…” Then he gave Josh a slow sly smile. “If you convince me.” 

Josh linked their hands, with a dopey smile. “Hold on,” he whispered and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He sent a quick message to Tyler, before whispering, “Now, where were we?” 

**FROM: JOSH**  
**TO: TYLER**

_send me the link to those tuxes you found_

 

Epilogue: Seven Years Later

Ryan and Josh didn’t wear the matching tux set to their wedding. But, Tyler did lore it over the whole crowd how he had set the happy couple up, just as he had promised. 

Josh rolled his eyes, but he thanked Tyler silently in his head as he got to lock hands with his new _husband_. He kissed Ryan chastely; but it really wasn’t anything to write home about because they both were smiling too much for it to be more than a clashing of their teeth. Though it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t their first kiss, and it most definitely wasn’t going to be their last.

**Author's Note:**

> pls pls pls leave a comment. let me know which parts made you laugh, or what was your favorite - ash
> 
> find me on social media!!!  
> twitter: @mcrfanfiction  
> tumblr: babyashleym


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